The Final Goodbye.
She was wearing a red salwar kameez and a pair of earrings that he had gifted her. Her heart was filled with questions and haunting memories of the time that they had spent together. The chowk was packed as she waited for him on the footpath near a traffic signal. She scanned every car that went by, looking to ascertain him, her first love, the man who made her realize the bliss of being loved. Finally, after 5 to 10 minutes, she saw him in a car. They were meeting after a year, 365 days of not looking at his face, not listening to his voice, not thinking about him all the time. His face was emotionless and expressionless. She sat in the car without even glancing at his face, trying to look away from the past. They did not look at each other for another 5 minutes, there was silence in the car. No words were spoken but the hearts were shrieking. She finally broke the silence,
“How are you?”
He accelerated the car. There was a clear aggressiveness in his attitude.
“I am alive, without you, does that shock you?”
“You got a car! It's beautiful. Congratulations!”
The car stopped at a signal. He finally looked at her for the first time since she got into the car.
“You got your nose pierced? I never liked it. You look ugly.”
She smiled and said,
“You finally started going to the gym, right?”
They looked at each other, stared into each other's eyes as if trying to affirm something. Slowly the tears welled up in their eyes, both of them looked elsewhere trying to hide the tears.
“I am hungry!” she asserted.
He tensed onto the steering. It was very evident that he wanted to burst out his feelings in front of her. He wanted to let her know that he had lost himself in those years when they were together. She was also holding back an ocean of unspoken feelings. They were trying to collect the pieces of their broken hearts. He kept driving until they reached away from the hustle-bustle of the city.
“Where are we?”
“Somewhere away from the regretful memories. The pain that you embedded on my soul away from your disloyalty!” he whispered.
She kept looking in front, avoiding any eye contact with him. The silence took over again.
“Can I get something to eat? Please!”
He nodded and stopped the car near a cart that was selling pakodas. As he was about to park suddenly the man who was selling the pakodas came up to him and said,
“You cannot park your car in front of my cart.”
“We will just take something to eat and leave. It would hardly take about 3 minutes.”
“No... No! Not even for a minute, move your car right now.”
He was already angry and the man's tone further made him hostile. He got off the car and spoke in a very offensive manner,
“Who are you? How dare you? I will park here no matter what. What will you do?”
An argument erupted. She viewed everything from the car, remembering the times when she used to stop him from getting into silly arguments. The argument was getting worse so she got off the car as well.
“Brother, just let it go. He is just naive. We will park somewhere else.” she told the man.
“No, we would park right here.”
They looked at each other. Another argument but this time nobody will say sorry, try to finish the misunderstanding or write a long sorry note in the text messages. It was the look that fortified the fact that there was nothing left in between them. Just a beautiful past and some memories with a bad ending, looking for a closure.
As the issue had escalated, the police arrived. They started interrogating the issue. She held her ground, if anything would go wrong, her family would get to know about the meeting with him. She gathered the nerve and went up to the policeman,
“There is nothing wrong. We were engaged, a year ago but it broke off. Today we are meeting to finalize if we can still manage something or not. There is nothing wrong going on, trust me!”
The policeman gazed at him and replied to her,
“Have you seen his temper and disposition? Is this how nice people talk?”
She smiled,
“If he comprehended how to talk properly, why would I leave him?”
He fumed in anger. This time she didn't look at him but he did, a peek of disappointment and bewilderment of the past. Analyzing the situation, he also calmed himself.
“We were just looking for some food!” he explained.
The policeman leaned near him and said,
“Why would you bring her to a pakoda cart? I'll inform you about some good places, take her there! (giggles)”
Both of them went back into the car. Another 15 minutes of driving. He turned off the music.
“Why did you want to meet me now? Where is your new boyfriend? Did he ditch you? Maybe that's why you wanted to meet me?”
“No. That's not the reason. Stop the car somewhere. I have to tell you something.”
They stopped the car near a tree and sat under the shadow. It was a muddy place. As they sat beside each other, the weather started getting chilly. For a few moments, nothing seemed to make sense. That moment was enough. No words were needed, no explanations or answers, they were two people with abundant memories.
“I... I... I'm sorry.” he uttered.
“It's too late. I have moved on, from you, from the pain that you proffered me, from every moment of misery and loneliness.”
“I haven't. I will never move on,” he yelled.
His words pierced her soul. The bleeding was manifesting itself from the eyes in the form of tears. She turned towards him,
“You have to! You will! One day, I will only be a nightmare that shook you but finally ceased.”
“How can you move on? How can you love someone else? How?” he squealed.
"It was the right thing to do, for me, my life and self-esteem!”
“Self-esteem? How did that ever came in between us? Did you ever love me at all or those 8 years were simply a bluff?”
She couldn't hold back the tears anymore.
“You were the first man that I loved. You were the first man who broke my heart. You gave me the scars that will be a part of my presence forever, wherever I go, whoever I love. In this way, you will always be a part of me.”
His heart exploded as if someone was spilling something burning on his body and he was unable to get the sensation of hot flashes away. He broke down, cried his heart out. The warmth of the tears felt like a volcano on his face. He felt like his whole existence was being melted down. The memories of togetherness and love made him vulnerable in that moment. Both of them cried as if they were burying their love right there, under that tree.
“Why did God put so much love in our hearts when we were meant to be separated?” he cried out.
She took out a handkerchief from the purse and tried to remove the tears but he pushed her hand away.
“Why did you come back if you had to go! Why did you do that? What are you testing me for?”
After a few seconds, he wiped off the tears and brought back the aggressive look on his face.
“It's getting late, you must reach home before 6, that's when your mum comes home, right?”
She nodded. There was a nervous expression on her face.
Back into the car, there was no more silence. They talked about their respective lives. He told her that after they broke up, his family took him to a psychologist. He went into depression and had to take up treatment but after a few sessions, he improved both healthwise and emotionally.
“I used to see your WhatsApp stories. You were going out, meeting other people and having fun so I did the same. I am doing a job at a restaurant from 9 months. With all my savings and some loan, I bought this car.”
She told him about her degree being completed. Now she was looking for a job and still worked with the NGO.
“So you are still working with him?” he murmured.
“Yes. And... Forget it!”
They reached very near to her house. He stopped the car in a street near her house.
“Tell me? What is it? Just say it! I can judge from your expressions, you are hiding something.”
“Yes, I am. I wanted to tell you something but... well... your tears made me weak.”
“I handled your absence from my life, I can take this too.”
“I am going to America for my further studies”
“What? What about the guy from the office? Are you breaking up with him too?”
She took out a small bag from the purse and handed it over to him. It carried the ring that he had gifted her, his first gift to her.
“We were never dating. I like him but he doesn't like me. Maybe it's just the Karma hitting back!”
“That's not true. You lying!”
“I wish! I really wish you never doubted my loyalty, questioned my character, slapped me in the face but the thing is that these are all just wishes. All of it happened and I am thankful that it occurred. I was getting excessively involved in something that was toxic for my emotional well being. Now I don't need to explain to anyone about my loyalty anymore. It's... it's time to part ways, forever! Goodbye.”
“At least give me a chance to explain!”
“I have given plenty of chances to everyone. Now it's time to give a chance to myself, Farewell!”
She left the car bequeathing a lot of questions in his heart that will never be answered.
“How are you?”
He accelerated the car. There was a clear aggressiveness in his attitude.
“I am alive, without you, does that shock you?”
“You got a car! It's beautiful. Congratulations!”
The car stopped at a signal. He finally looked at her for the first time since she got into the car.
“You got your nose pierced? I never liked it. You look ugly.”
She smiled and said,
“You finally started going to the gym, right?”
They looked at each other, stared into each other's eyes as if trying to affirm something. Slowly the tears welled up in their eyes, both of them looked elsewhere trying to hide the tears.
“I am hungry!” she asserted.
He tensed onto the steering. It was very evident that he wanted to burst out his feelings in front of her. He wanted to let her know that he had lost himself in those years when they were together. She was also holding back an ocean of unspoken feelings. They were trying to collect the pieces of their broken hearts. He kept driving until they reached away from the hustle-bustle of the city.
“Where are we?”
“Somewhere away from the regretful memories. The pain that you embedded on my soul away from your disloyalty!” he whispered.
She kept looking in front, avoiding any eye contact with him. The silence took over again.
“Can I get something to eat? Please!”
He nodded and stopped the car near a cart that was selling pakodas. As he was about to park suddenly the man who was selling the pakodas came up to him and said,
“You cannot park your car in front of my cart.”
“We will just take something to eat and leave. It would hardly take about 3 minutes.”
“No... No! Not even for a minute, move your car right now.”
He was already angry and the man's tone further made him hostile. He got off the car and spoke in a very offensive manner,
“Who are you? How dare you? I will park here no matter what. What will you do?”
An argument erupted. She viewed everything from the car, remembering the times when she used to stop him from getting into silly arguments. The argument was getting worse so she got off the car as well.
“Brother, just let it go. He is just naive. We will park somewhere else.” she told the man.
“No, we would park right here.”
They looked at each other. Another argument but this time nobody will say sorry, try to finish the misunderstanding or write a long sorry note in the text messages. It was the look that fortified the fact that there was nothing left in between them. Just a beautiful past and some memories with a bad ending, looking for a closure.
As the issue had escalated, the police arrived. They started interrogating the issue. She held her ground, if anything would go wrong, her family would get to know about the meeting with him. She gathered the nerve and went up to the policeman,
“There is nothing wrong. We were engaged, a year ago but it broke off. Today we are meeting to finalize if we can still manage something or not. There is nothing wrong going on, trust me!”
The policeman gazed at him and replied to her,
“Have you seen his temper and disposition? Is this how nice people talk?”
She smiled,
“If he comprehended how to talk properly, why would I leave him?”
He fumed in anger. This time she didn't look at him but he did, a peek of disappointment and bewilderment of the past. Analyzing the situation, he also calmed himself.
“We were just looking for some food!” he explained.
The policeman leaned near him and said,
“Why would you bring her to a pakoda cart? I'll inform you about some good places, take her there! (giggles)”
Both of them went back into the car. Another 15 minutes of driving. He turned off the music.
“Why did you want to meet me now? Where is your new boyfriend? Did he ditch you? Maybe that's why you wanted to meet me?”
“No. That's not the reason. Stop the car somewhere. I have to tell you something.”
They stopped the car near a tree and sat under the shadow. It was a muddy place. As they sat beside each other, the weather started getting chilly. For a few moments, nothing seemed to make sense. That moment was enough. No words were needed, no explanations or answers, they were two people with abundant memories.
“I... I... I'm sorry.” he uttered.
“It's too late. I have moved on, from you, from the pain that you proffered me, from every moment of misery and loneliness.”
“I haven't. I will never move on,” he yelled.
His words pierced her soul. The bleeding was manifesting itself from the eyes in the form of tears. She turned towards him,
“You have to! You will! One day, I will only be a nightmare that shook you but finally ceased.”
“How can you move on? How can you love someone else? How?” he squealed.
"It was the right thing to do, for me, my life and self-esteem!”
“Self-esteem? How did that ever came in between us? Did you ever love me at all or those 8 years were simply a bluff?”
She couldn't hold back the tears anymore.
“You were the first man that I loved. You were the first man who broke my heart. You gave me the scars that will be a part of my presence forever, wherever I go, whoever I love. In this way, you will always be a part of me.”
His heart exploded as if someone was spilling something burning on his body and he was unable to get the sensation of hot flashes away. He broke down, cried his heart out. The warmth of the tears felt like a volcano on his face. He felt like his whole existence was being melted down. The memories of togetherness and love made him vulnerable in that moment. Both of them cried as if they were burying their love right there, under that tree.
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| Image Courtesy: Pexels |
She took out a handkerchief from the purse and tried to remove the tears but he pushed her hand away.
“Why did you come back if you had to go! Why did you do that? What are you testing me for?”
After a few seconds, he wiped off the tears and brought back the aggressive look on his face.
“It's getting late, you must reach home before 6, that's when your mum comes home, right?”
She nodded. There was a nervous expression on her face.
Back into the car, there was no more silence. They talked about their respective lives. He told her that after they broke up, his family took him to a psychologist. He went into depression and had to take up treatment but after a few sessions, he improved both healthwise and emotionally.
“I used to see your WhatsApp stories. You were going out, meeting other people and having fun so I did the same. I am doing a job at a restaurant from 9 months. With all my savings and some loan, I bought this car.”
She told him about her degree being completed. Now she was looking for a job and still worked with the NGO.
“So you are still working with him?” he murmured.
“Yes. And... Forget it!”
They reached very near to her house. He stopped the car in a street near her house.
“Tell me? What is it? Just say it! I can judge from your expressions, you are hiding something.”
“Yes, I am. I wanted to tell you something but... well... your tears made me weak.”
“I handled your absence from my life, I can take this too.”
“I am going to America for my further studies”
“What? What about the guy from the office? Are you breaking up with him too?”
She took out a small bag from the purse and handed it over to him. It carried the ring that he had gifted her, his first gift to her.
“We were never dating. I like him but he doesn't like me. Maybe it's just the Karma hitting back!”
“That's not true. You lying!”
“I wish! I really wish you never doubted my loyalty, questioned my character, slapped me in the face but the thing is that these are all just wishes. All of it happened and I am thankful that it occurred. I was getting excessively involved in something that was toxic for my emotional well being. Now I don't need to explain to anyone about my loyalty anymore. It's... it's time to part ways, forever! Goodbye.”
“At least give me a chance to explain!”
“I have given plenty of chances to everyone. Now it's time to give a chance to myself, Farewell!”
She left the car bequeathing a lot of questions in his heart that will never be answered.
Oye hoye hoye hoye..killed it!!!!
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