4th April, 2011

Some days are incredibly special in your life. They change the way you look at everything and for me, it was 4th April 2011. It was the day when I got into a major spinal surgery aiming to decompress my spine from a giant cell tumor on the C7-T1 level. I remember vividly lying down in my hospital bed the night before my surgery. Touch screen phones with not very common and we had one of those phones where you navigate the screen through the keypad. I searched about my surgery, the procedure, the side effects, and basically, what can go wrong. It was numbing and after a point, I was terrified. That night, I couldn't sleep. The uncertainty had captured my existence. Nothing seemed to help, therefore, I started praying. The only thought in my mind was, what if I die tomorrow? I started seeking forgiveness and looking back at my journey. Who I was and what had happened? It was overwhelming and sleep was nowhere to be found. 

One of the most interesting things that happened the night before my surgery was the arrangement of blood. My blood group is O+ and they wanted us to arrange a donor before the surgery. It was my second surgery and in the first one, my beloved mamoo had already given me blood, hence we had to find someone else. Asif uncle volunteered; he is one of my father's subordinates and friends. He is a sleek fellow and when he laid down for the blood donation, he seemed intimidated. Anyhow a few hours passed by, and the blood donation was complete. When he thought everything was over and he could go home, he passed out. My father tugged him up and fed him some juice before letting him go home. It was a humorous incident that cheered us up before a difficult day ahead. 

On the day of the surgery, I woke up early, and I hadn't slept much due to the anticipation. However, I remember one thing clearly. When I was ready to go into the operation theatre, the fear had vanished. I wasn't scared anymore. Somehow the night before had exhausted all my energy to be scared. Before I went inside, I met everyone, including my parents. I could see the tearful eyes, but I could not shed a tear. The last person I met before going to the operation theatre was my mamoo. He was optimistic and boosted my morale. I am eternally thankful to everyone who stood by me during that time. Trust me, I haven't forgotten the faces, and I don't think I ever will. I remember my last vision before going to the operation theatre. Everyone was there. My parents, aunts, and uncles. I remember posing for a moment and just capturing everyone's faces in my mind. At that moment, I thought of my sisters who couldn't be there. Lastly, I recalled all my friends. Now that I look back and that moment, it seems like the final scene of an emotional movie. As I write this, I have tears in my eyes. Not because it makes me sad. I feel that whenever I will tell this tale, I will cry; it is a sign of strength, faith, and belief. Reflecting on my struggles has always empowered me to move forward with enthusiasm and courage. Allah has brought me forward and I have risen from the ashes. There is a huge journey ahead; I want to acknowledge this day as the memorial of my courage, and the triumph of my faith. It is the day I was given a new life. Perhaps for an unknown reason yet to be discovered or the path I am pursuing now. The mystery of life is what makes it incredible and I truly hope that every day brings excitement to my life.

Lastly, I want you all to pray for me. I haven't given up on miracles. Honestly, I don't let the anticipation of a miracle steer my life, but that doesn't mean I have given up hope. I haven't and will not give up on hope. Take some time out of your busy lives and just make a small prayer for me on this day. Ramadan is a beautiful month and you never know whose prayer would be answered to transform my life for good. Also, make a prayer for my beloved mamoo who left for his heavenly abode last year.