Change and Emotional Turmoil

Change is inevitable. We have grown up listening to the philosophy of change being the only permanence, but nobody told us that it is the most difficult thing to cope with. Despite the brilliance of change and how it transforms our life, the transition phase is strenuous. My life has seen many changes, from physical to spiritual, however, recently, I went through an emotional change.

In November of 2021, my sister got married. I consider her marriage to be one of the most important events of my life. It was huge. Everything we used to talk about as children were turning into a reality. There is no doubt that my sister made the most beautiful bride, and I was so happy to catch a glimpse of her forever bliss. However, I had no idea that her marriage would set loose an emotional turmoil for me. Do you know how sisters are? They fight and make up all the time. But, they are always there for each other. Through every thick and thin, my sisters have been a concrete wall that never allowed any adversary to take over my determination. I owe a lot to them, and the truth is I can never pay back the compassion they demonstrated during the toughest time of my life. After my sister got married, surprisingly, I started missing her. We were never very expressive, or affectionate. Also, she was always busy and not much of a talker. I found her absence depressing. There is always a first time to everything, and for the first time in my life, I realized how much my love, value my sisters. 

Anyway, the emotional rollercoaster didn't stop there. I was feeling empty, lost, and somewhat exhausted. There was a sense of ambiguity. Despite working constantly, I wasn't really focused on anything. Not the writing projects or my stories. Then, the weather shift came, and I felt it a lot more than usual. The weather shift has always affected my mental health, but this time, it struck me badly. Both my physical and mental health was implicated by the overwhelming emotional turmoil.

In mid-December, I lost my dog, Sam. My sweet little boy, Sammy. Truthfully, I'm still not ready to write about him, but his passing was another major incident that will make me look back at the year 2021 with a heavy heart. The incident provoked so many emotions. I was trying to figure out how I was feeling and why? 

All the occurrences made me feel things I never had felt before. The overwhelming emotions took a toll on my well-being, and I struggled to cope with the changes. It wasn't easy at all. Despite knowing that changes are inevitable, I realized it was still an everyday battle. To completely absorb the change and infer its implication, I had to be patient, with myself, and the people around me. 

Time has an incredible power to heal and so does reconnecting to the Almighty. I gave my emotions some time. Let them sink and mold me. Along with that, I rekindled my bond with Him. Told Him about my turmoil and He took care of the rest. One thing I want to mention here is that every change in the exterior transforms you internally too. The trick is to not let go of your true self in the intricacies of the change. It's one of the toughest things you'll do, but trust me, it's worth it. With the effort that you put in to safeguard your soul, you become your hero. No hero is coming to save your soul, essence, you have to do it for yourself, and everyone who cares for you.